The NexWord

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Florida debate: Collide of the Four Horsemen 

By York Van Nixon III 

In times of despair, it is sometimes comforting to look within the pages of a tome like the “Big Book” for succor, or at least for a possible explanation of events that seemingly defy common sense, which of late appears to be anything but common.

When there is a dearth of mother-wit combined with an internet ethos constructed from sound bites and photo-shopped images, perhaps the first four of the seven seals on the scroll in God’s right hand have been broken. According to the Book of Revelation, their opening summons four horsemen, riding on white, red, black, and pale horses, respectively.   

After five minutes of watching the GOP presidential candidates last night trade barbs, it became impossible to tell which horse each was riding. All portended Conquest, War, Famine and Death, if President Obama (the Beast with seven heads and ten crowns) is not cast out on November 6, 2012.  

Despite the tacit belief of some Democratic supporters believing in Obama’s ability to walk on water, Republican wannabe hopefuls did their best Thursday night to shackle whom they think is the Mammon or Baal to a laundry list of dirty deeds that is best understood by an undergraduate psychology student slogging through a chapter on Freudian projection. Another explanation can be imagined in a head-slapping foray in a never released comedy called “Three Stooges Plus One” playing Whac-A-Mole with one another’s pate.

The first Florida debate January 23 had Newt Gingrich (Moe) slapping everyone, including CNN moderator John King.  The professor of history, who appears to have done post-graduate work in hypocrisy and infidelity, gave a prodigious lesson in obfuscation when asked if allegations made by his second wife of wanting an open marriage were true. But high-minded protestations have a short shelf life.

On Friday night at the debate hosted by the University of Florida and CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, instead of the self-aggrandizing former Speaker of the House standing behind the podium, it appeared that the Pillsbury Dough Boy had his tummy tickled one too many times at dinner. Mr. Gingrich usually known for being fast on his feet and debating jujitsu seemed sluggish and to have forgotten  to bring his mirror to contravene attacks from former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney when unmasked about his tartuffery regarding ownership of Freddie Mac stock. Gingrich appeared to have You-Got-Me moments for the rest of the evening.

Of all the GOP horsemen last night, Romney managed to stay in the saddle. Today’s polls have him regaining some of the momentum he lost in South Carolina.

Former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum never made it out of gate. Revisiting the story about his lost child failed to garner pathos from a crowd more interested in issues than personal tribulations.

Lest we forget, Texas congressman Ron Paul was there. Unfortunately, just showing up will not improve any likelihood of his quixotic trek to the Republican nomination.

While only the most pessimistic are ridding themselves of their worldly goods before Armageddon, there are those from both sides of aisle predicting Doomsday for Republicans, if the GOP fails to win the White House. With so many seats in the House of Representatives in play, a loss in November could force their peanut preferring mascot into the wilderness until the Second Coming.